Heavy

A day of indecision, of frustration. The heavy air mirrors the heaviness in my soul. There had been anticipation, and now there is resentment. The frustrations of yesterday are spilling over and shade today. The comments and niggles and barbs all irritate and worm under my defences.

I may well run. Run to something, be positive. But it is still running.

The frustration of being at the mercy of another’s whim. Of not having the power to decide. I feel like the undertows of passive aggression are sucking me in, down, under. Their dark smoky tendrils are like the fumes of burning rubber. They seek eyes and ears. They clog my mouth and my nose. Insubstantial, I cannot push them aside. They are suffocating me, poisoning the clear well of me, sapping energy, killing growth.